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by John_Schwada from Los Angeles

Last Post 15 days, 17 hours Ago


Blind Leading Blind
Apr 9, 2008 | 4:32 PM
Category: Political
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Gosh, I just don't know how to vote. Hillary, Barack, maybe McCain. I can barely get to sleep thinking about it.

Last night, I was tossing and turning as I tried to review their respective positions on Iraq and doing a little mental calculus on super-delegate strategies. And then I thought about Obama girl. Anyway, I couldn't get to sleep so I got up, and nearly broke my neck stumbling over the duvet.

What's wrong," my wife muttered from under the covers. Can't sleep, I mumbled. "Just don't wake Jack. Or the dog," she mumbled back. Yes, dear. Too late, the dog growled at me as I tiptoed past his cozy little bed, custom-made for him at Le Canny-Canine Shoppe there on Montana Avenue. Oh well, maybe he's still a little cranky after that $1,500 operation to have his bladder stones removed.

In the family room, the youngest son was watching Spike TV. Uh, couldn't sleep, I said by way of announcing my presence to #2 son who was sprawled across the sofa, baggy jeans and no shirt. He looked up from taking a swig from a soda, and said: "Don't just stand there, you're making me nervous." Okay, okay. I thought I'd try to catch up on my reading, maybe watch a little news. "Hey," #2 son said. "I got dibs on the TV - you got to see Suspenders Man (editor's note: that would be the venerable Larry King) interview that antique (editor's note: Harrison Ford, a fellow Boomer) so don't get any ideas."

Don't you have some studying to do, I ask. "Nahh," says #2. "Got community service tomorrow. Going to make phone calls for Obama during my free periods. By the way, did you pay my cell phone bill? I'm getting text messages from Sprint saying I'm overdue. Get on it will you, Dad." I thought I paid the bill last week, I said, as I poked around in the bookcase looking for a "sleeper" novel.

That's when the phone rang: I rushed to pick it up before it awakened my wife or the dog (both are very temperamental sleepers).

"Dad, glad you're up." It was son #1 calling from school. Everything alright, I ask. "Yeah," he said. "I was just up talking to friends about the election. We're going to Philly tomorrow - hook up with some girls from Bryn Mawr and protest a Hillary event." Hmmmm. "Did you see the latest Obama You-Tube spot?" No.

"Take a look," said #1 son. "He's so cool. Like a movie-star or something. And the war sucks, and so does Hillary. She's like a librarian or something. A lying librarian. Me and Brent and Greg are going to the multi-media lab Thursday and work on our own You-Tube ad for Obama. It'd be like "Family Guy" with Stewie going to the library to check out a book on sex and Hillary is the librarian. You know what I mean?" Hmmmm. I have no idea what he means. Isn't Stewie that guy that looks like a Frisbee with legs? "Uhhh, you got it Dad."

"Dad, get on board with Obama," son #1 continues. "Don't be an old fogy. He's young, he's cool, he's not bi-partisan." Not partisan, I correct him. (Is this what I get after paying a fortune for this kid to go to an elite private school back East?). "Right. But Dad, grammar, punctuation and syntax aside, the guy's going to end the war and clean up that sewer in Washington. He's got integrity. Don't be old school, Dad." Okay, I promise. I'll think about it.

"It'd be cool to have a black man in the White House, instead of that stupid Texan or the dinosaur from Arizona. Sort of like Miles Davis." Miles Davis? "Hey, gotta go. A couple guys coming over now." But isn't it 2 in the morning there? "Yeah, and your point is?" Nothing, I sighed. "We're just so up for this Obama thing, can't sleep. So long." Click.

Anyway, I did get to sleep last night. Awakened at 3:17 am, in the armchair, the TV still going. I picked up the empty soda cans, potato chip bags, fluffed the pillows on the couch and stumbled back to bed. Now the dog was curled up on the bed. He growled as I tried to ease myself under the covers.

The next morning there's a front-page story in the New York Times. It says young Obama-ites are successfully lobbying their Boomer-Parents to vote for Obama. "Obama's Young Backers Get Chance to Twist Parents' Arms" is the headline. There's a photo of Sen. Bob Casey's four daughters with Obama on the jump page. Casey, from Pennsylvania, last week endorsed Obama, virtually saying his kids made him do it. This United States senator was unashamed that he bowed to the kids-lobby. I guess, I thought, I'll be in good company if I join the Obama Children's Crusade. Maybe pick up a few "cool merit badge" from my kids...

Gee, who said picking a president is so hard?
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Member Comments Total Comments: 17
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DMMickie read my blog view my photos
Apr 9, 2008 | 8:33 PM

Harrison Ford an antique! Watch it. Harrison used to be HOT. I still like him. Your sons is so enthusiastic. Cute. If Obama can just get us out of the Iraq mess and do something about this galactic size deficit THAT would be remarkable.
-Your dog has a custom mad bed from Le Canny-Canine! (nice plug by the way) Oh brother. Dogs on the west side have custom beds.
-I thought you said Jack is the conservative one.
John_Schwada read my blog view my photos
Apr 9, 2008 | 8:34 PM

ooluxoo: thanks for the compliment..sorry about the mess you're in politically. maybe there's a 3rd party candidate out there just waiting for your vote. if not, then hold your nose and dive in....
John_Schwada read my blog view my photos
Apr 9, 2008 | 8:37 PM

dmmickie: harrison is a ford - model T ford. as for canny-canine - that's no plug, that's fiction.
John_Schwada read my blog view my photos
Apr 9, 2008 | 9:16 PM

everyone: here's a thought...what do you think of grownups who allow juveniles to shape their judgments. isn't this sort of backwards....are we boomers so relativist, so unsure, so deferential to youth that we will let them run roughshod on us. are we mice or men!!! we're mice. let's face it. we pamper our young, suck up to them, like they're celebrities. we're feeble-minded. but as of now i'm declaring my independence! i'm voting for the oldest, ugliest man on the planet. worse than mccain. maybe king tut!!
John_Schwada read my blog view my photos
Apr 10, 2008 | 9:14 AM

craftyguy: sorry to disappoint you all...but this is fiction, fiction, fiction....it causes friction...by the way, it's supposed to be sly humor...maybe i need to attach my jokes to baseball bats.
John_Schwada read my blog view my photos
Apr 10, 2008 | 10:11 AM

crafty: sorry if you felt "betrayed" by my little deception (that is, most of what i wrote was fiction)...but i was striving for sly humor, irony. you know: like henpecked, sensitive boomer lets kids/youth culture run his life, etc. i guess it didn't work. next time, if there is a next time, i'll put a label on this kind of writing: "HUMOR" or "ENTERING THE FICTION ZONE" or "CUIDADO - CUENTO MOJADO" - now there i go kidding around again....jeez, just can't take the fool out of a -------- fool.
DMMickie read my blog view my photos
Apr 10, 2008 | 10:14 AM

Hey,

You deleted the pic? and after all that work. I thought you looked good as Indy.

Craftguy: why so hard on the Schwada-man. YOU try raising TWO boys. at the same time.
John_Schwada read my blog view my photos
Apr 10, 2008 | 10:17 AM

also dear readers: on website rasmussen reports, you can find the further trigger for this column, a piece by michael barone - who is a veritable encyclopedia of political information (he's co-author of the political almanac - exhausting and exhaustive bible of politics). in that piece barone talked abt the "tribal" schisms within the democratic party btwn the groups backing hillary and barack...and ponders over the prospect that it will be difficult to bridge these gaps for whoever becomes the nominee. one of the gaps: kids. then there was the piece on the front-page NYTimes - which i cite in my post - abt the yng dragooning their parents into obama-land. thus the uncertain origins of my post - all of it sounds like a bastard version of darwinian evolution....
John_Schwada read my blog view my photos
Apr 10, 2008 | 10:23 AM

dmmickie: conservatives also like a laugh. and i deleted the pix of me - my face superimposed on body of indiana jones - because - while flattering for me...it constituted defamation of harrison ford...i can't afford a lawsuit. just kidding...actually it just did nothing to advance the blog thread and seemed a little too self-absorbed.
DMMickie read my blog view my photos
Apr 10, 2008 | 12:57 PM

Hey,

You deleted the pic? and after all that work. I thought you looked good as Indy.

Craftguy: why so hard on the Schwada-man. YOU try raising TWO boys. at the same time.
DMMickie read my blog view my photos
Apr 10, 2008 | 2:09 PM

Hey,

You deleted the pic? and after all that work. I thought you looked good as Indy.

Craftguy: why so hard on the Schwada-man. YOU try raising TWO boys. at the same time.
DMMickie read my blog view my photos
Apr 10, 2008 | 3:59 PM

Hey,

You deleted the pic? and after all that work. I thought you looked good as Indy.

Craftguy: why so hard on the Schwada-man. YOU try raising TWO boys. at the same time.
DMMickie read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 12:01 PM

Yay, MaCain! Lets stay in Iraq for 1000 years! and bankrupft this country.
DMMickie read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 2:21 PM

Yay, MaCain! Lets stay in Iraq for 1000 years! and bankrupft this country.
DfDeportation read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 9:53 PM

What I'd like to see, here in L.A., is a government official be arrested for NOT fulfilling their Constitutional duty to defend it and our citizens against foreign invaders, and not allowing them to colonize ILLEGALLY within our borders and keep expecting me to foot the bill with my tax dollars.....D.........M! Until that time, I don't know who to vote for...
DfDeportation read my blog view my photos
Apr 13, 2008 | 10:30 AM

Sure can tell who the REAL crackpots are! JB, did you forget to mention the SQUIRREL EATING, DOBRO PLUCKIN', NOOSE HANGIN', and HOME SCHOOLIN'? You forgot to ask, "just who is runnin' their METH LABS while they're participating in Conservative Cultural Events. You and DM are typical ELITIST LIBERALS, spouting your divisive, inflammatory, detrimental, Anti-American Xenophbic Hate Speech, and RACISM. All the while, PRETENDING too care for poor people.

SUPPORT JAMIEL'S LAW!
JimmyBobby
Apr 13, 2008 | 11:09 PM

DfD, no clue what you're talking about. Squirrel tastes pretty good, the Dobro is a wonderful instrument and some of the smartest kids I've met were home schooled.
I do think different kinds of people laugh at different things (humor was the point, remember?) and that those things reveal something about their soul.
So, what's your point, other than to show that you know where the Shift key is to be found?
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John_Schwada

As a reporter at Fox 11 News, I have covered national political conventions, presidential impeachment hearings and gubernatorial recall campaigns. I've done double-duty as an investigative reporter and, in this capacity, won Golden Mike and Emmy awards. I also have labored in the newspaper biz: LA Herald-Examiner, the LA Times, the San Diego Union, the Arizona Republic and the Riverside Press-Enterprise. I went to UC Berkeley and learned to respect the sharpshooting ability of Alameda County's "blue-meanies" who could hit protesters in the derriere with buckshot from 50 paces. I'm now looking for a wealthy benefactor who will donate their villa in Spain to me and my family.

Member Since: 7/4/2006


 

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