My Blog

Hillary Says:
We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

"God bless the America we are trying to create."

"I have to confess that it's crossed my mind that you could not be a Republican and a Christian."

"I have said that I'm not running and I'm having a great time being pres -- being a first-term senator." --on her presidential ambitions

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

"Who is going to find out? These women are trash. Nobody's going to believe them." --on Bill Clinton's bimbo eruptions

"If I didn't kick his ass every day, he wouldn't be worth anything." --on Bill Clinton

Obama Says:
"I would have to...investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities, you know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother." --on whether Bill Clinton was "our first black president"

On the controversial Ukraine election: "Well, President Bush said he wanted to export American-style democracy and, by God, I think it's working."

Obama also held up a mock-up of a supermarket tabloid proclaiming, "Obama's Shocking Secret: He's Strom Thurmond's Love Child."

On excitement in his father's native Kenya that his election would mean the building of billions of dollars in new roads, bridges, hospitals, and schools in their country: "I've tried to explain how it works these days. First comes the invasion, and then billions in aid."

"(The pundits) said you can't win in a year like this with a name like Obama. There was quite a bit of confusion at first, but it did get me free airtime on Al Jazeera."

"It's been a great ride. But I know how quickly these fads can pass. You all remember the pet rock, the mood ring, Howard Dean."


McCain Says:
"I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited -- it will be spirited -- because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica-- conservative Republican...Hello? Easy there." (Watch video clip)

"The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should. I've got Greenspan's book."

"It's not social issues I care about."

"F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room." --to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy exchange about immigration legislation

"There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods today." --prior to visiting a Baghdad market while being flanked by 22 soldiers, 10 armored Humvees, and two Apache attack helicopters

"You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran." (Watch video clip)

"No, I'm calling you a f*cking jerk." --to fellow Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?"

"Only an a**hole would put together a budget like this ... I wouldn't call you an a**hole unless you really were an a**hole." --to Budget Committee Chairman and fellow Repulican Sen. Pete Domenici, during a Senate budget hearing

"I am sure that Senator Clinton would make a good President. I have no doubt that Senator Clinton would make a good President."

"I said, 'The nice thing about Alzheimer's is you get to hide your own Easter eggs.'"

"At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt." -to his wife, Cindy, after she playfully twirled his hair and said "You're getting a little thin up there," as reported in the book The Real McCain by Cliff Schecter

"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father." --at a 1998 Republican fundraiser