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by Meb452m from Orlando

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Your Younguns, Have They Ever Caused......
Apr 10, 2008 | 8:32 PM
Category: Entertainment
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Your younguns, have they ever caused you any public embarassment ? Being a dad, I know this isn't a question that should really have to be asked. I thought this could be a funny topic though. I'll give you three of my more memorable doses of public humiliation.

When I first started dragging my daughter Sam around with me, at three, the ONLY place that I could take her for a meal was McDonald's., and so my suffering began. Getting that kid out of that playgeround was damn near impossible, OH the fits, Oh my God. So I told her one day, her's the rule : " If you want to eat here, that's fine, if you want to play at the playground that's fine, but when daddy says it's time to go, we're going. Do you understand Samantha ? " Yes Daddy, was the response. I felt fairly secure in my knowledge that all would end fine. How possibly wrong could one man be ? When it ws time to go she burried herself beneath the balls and I had to go in and root her out. Having now captured this screaming, wiggly,and throughly upset kid, I made a dash for the door with one arm wrapped around her waist. People were looking at me like I was some kind of abusive parent. Midway to the truck, she quit screaming, wrapped her arms around my neck and told me she loved me. What a beautifull second ! The rest of the trip to the truck was accompanied by this screaming kid again. What had happened to this otherwise beautifull child  ?

When she was about four, we were going to Barnes and Nobel for some books. Her mother had given her a five-spot and told  her to give it too me to help pay for her books. In the checkout line, I looked at my checkbook and noticed I was running tight, so I asked her for the five. She said : " NO ! " I said : " Sam, your mom gave that to you to help pay for the books, why won't you give it too me ?"  She said " You've got money, this is mine !" It wouldn't have been sooo bad, but there were now about 20 customers that had heard this exchange and were now all howling with laughter. Do these money issues with women begin at this early an age ?  Or do genes and  DNA somehow play some  foul  part ? 

When Sam was about five, we'd gone into a Walmart to buy some last minute Christmas gifts. Once again the rules were stated. We're going inside to get your granddad and grandmom some presents, we will be looking at nothing else. Samantha do you understand ?  " Yes daddy !" was the cheerfull promise.  Having had numerious successses with this tactic, I was once again confident. And once again, how absolutely wrong can one man be ?  The grandparents were taken care of , but Walmart in their infinate wisdom had placed some " BARBIES " close to the cash counter. Those dirty bastages ! " Daddy I want that !" Samantha said.  I said : " Honey I know you do , but Santa is probably bringing you one anyways. " That didn't work and the fit began. At the register I said : " Sam, do you remember what daddy told you ?"  She said : " Yes daddy, if I cry or throw a fit I will get nothing ."  I then asked : " Then why are you behaving this way ?"  She got quite and thoughtfull for a moment, and stated : " Daddy, you know I cry and yell when I don't get my way !"  Once again she had an appreciative audience and the laughter began. What could I do ? I just shook my head and laughed as well. God, I'm glad she outgrew that, I couldn't think of anything worse than diapers at one time.  In 15 yrs. I've popped her bottom with an open hand only once . She's an IB student and one of the top in her classes.  Yeah she made life pretty tough back then, but I can sit back and laugh now. For she does nothing now, but make me proud !

Hope you enjoy this and it was good for a laugh !

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Member Comments Total Comments: 33
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BrendaG read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 2:52 PM

Good Story M!

When my oldest was about four and my youngest was two, I was potty training my youngest son. We arrived at the restaurant to eat dinner, just as we sat down my oldest announces that he had to pee. So dad took him to the bathroom, they get back from the bathroom and sit down and about five minutes later, my oldest son announces to the entire restaurant that "one day mommy I will have a big pee-pee just like daddy's!" I think both my husband and I I wanted to crawl under the table at this time! And if that wasn't bad enough he repeated it again, much to the amusement of those seated in the same room with us!
Meb452m read my blog
Apr 11, 2008 | 2:56 PM

Fantastic story Brenda, OMG. I can picture the crimson on your faces right now. I bet you could have heard a pin drop ! Very , very funny. It's great to hear from you as well !
Meb452m read my blog
Apr 11, 2008 | 3:00 PM

My daughter's mom, use dto give me heck about taking my daughter to the bathroom when she was young and out together, " I don't want her to see some guy just whipping it out!" So I would cautiously make sure the women's room was empty and then take her in there. I still got some PRETTY strange looks when we left the ladies room together. Daddy did surbvive all that though. LOL !!!!
BrendaG read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 3:00 PM

And then there was the time at Silver Springs... after waiting in line for the glass bottom boats for about forty five minutes we finally board and are leaving the dock when my two and a half year old son (oldest one again!) Announces to everyone that he has to pee and grabs his crotch!!! So here I am in this boat with about fifteen or twenty other people , and I am panicking trying to figure out what to do with this child that has to pee all of the sudden! Now honestly I am thinking that I am sitting on the side of the boat, maybe he can pee off the side of the boat and no one would be the wiser, until I look up and see everyone looking at me intently, waiting to see what I was going to do... My child then announces "It's ok mommy, I pee'd in my pocket!"

I mean what would you have done in that situation?
BrendaG read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 3:12 PM

And then there was this time at the Credit Union, I have my two year old and four month old baby in the car with me, it was taking forever to get through the drive thru line, so I shut off the engine. Well the line moves forward and I go to start the car and it won't start!!! It's dead!!! So I take the kids and get out of the car, and walk into the credit union to call a wrecker to come get me, we walk back out to the car and I notice that the teller has closed the line I am broken down in, so I put the older boy in the booster seat and the baby in the car seat and roll down all of the windows. I then walk up to the drive thru to deposit my check , as I initially intended to do and I am about half way through the transaction, when I notice the tellers laughing and pointing! I turn around and there is my oldest son, dancing on the roof of the car, buck azzz naked yelling "mommy I got to pee!" That boy I swear has caused me more embarrassment then I care to think about!
.
BrendaG read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 3:12 PM

Oh I could go on M, but I think you are probably rolling on the floor uncontrollably after that, so I will stop now! Hehehe!
Meb452m read my blog
Apr 11, 2008 | 3:14 PM

Being that I had a sole daughter, the issues weren't a whole lot of fun. LOL !!! I guess I'd have told him this one's on the house, there will be no repremand. Son just try to remember, if you can't hold it, go pee in the restroom first. I can honestly say that I was fortunate enough not to have any public issues with the other bodily function. Allthough you will probably think this was terrible. I had cut loose with a silent-but-caustic and deadly.Samantha said : " Daddy somebody pooped !" So I asked her : " Well do you think daddy did it ?" " No " she said. I then asked " Sammy did you do it ?" "No daddy, no " was the reply. I then asked : " Well who do you think did it then ? " She replied : " Daddy I don't knooooow. " That is probably the only time in my entire life that I've pulled that off successfully. Granted becuse she was a kid, it was cheating ! LMAO !!!!!!!!
Meb452m read my blog
Apr 11, 2008 | 3:18 PM

Brenda, I'm tough, I can take it ! LOL !!!! I've got to run now and go pickup my daughter and some groceries. I'll catch up with you about 6:30- 7:00. I knew this post would be some fun !
BrendaG read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 3:44 PM

I am going to go take a nap! Long day at the beach today! *sigh*
Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 4:03 PM

Long day at the beach. Oh, spring break? Your little boy was funny.

Well, my oldest, my only Son, was with me at Lowes, and he was 16, so he took off by himself. I'm standing at one end of a long isle, and he comes from the other end, carrying a large TV. He's yelling, "hey Mom, I need one of these.", and proceeds to trip. The TV is thrown into the air, then all of a sudden he caught it. It was a box display. I felt like beating him to death! So instead, as always, I just laughed!

My youngest daughter, went to WalMart with me, again, a 16 year old. I worked with many women in a business office. Well I met one there one day, I said hello, then I notice my kid acting strange. She was acting like a retarded person. She was drooling and saying in a pathetic way, "Momma, don't you love me?" Momma, don't leave me." Then to top it off, drool and all, she falls to the floor by the milk, and starts begging me to help her. Again with the, "Momma don't you love me?" I walked away from her. I'm still not comfortable going to Walmart with her.
Meb452m read my blog
Apr 11, 2008 | 4:55 PM

Good stories gammies. The old mentally challenged act is always a show stopper ! Maybe a well planned spider gag will straighten her out. LOL !!!!
DeborahLakeHelen read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 6:38 PM

Poor Gammies! I'll bet that freaked you out. My youngest daughter once rolled her window down, and yelled at a man who was limping up the street, at the top of her lungs, mind you, "WHAT'S THE MATTER? DO YOU HAVE DIARRHEA?" She was around three at the time.
ZiggyFla read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 7:23 PM

lol Deb. I was driving home with my 3 year old son in the car and we were parked at a red light next to a semi truck. My son loved big trucks. Well the windows were down and he did the jerk of the arm for the truck driver to blow his horn which he did. My son got so excited he started yelling out the window (his pronunciation of truck wasn't right at that time) he started yelling "Big F--ck, Big F--CK"....lol. Thank God I had electric windows I pushed my button on my side and prayed for the light to turn green ASAP!!!!
ZiggyFla read my blog view my photos
Apr 11, 2008 | 7:32 PM

And don't you love it when they tell on you? My daughter was about 6 and I was having cable problems and the cable guy came out (this was when they charged you for each tv you had in your house) and he asked me how many tv's were in the house and I told him one in the living room and one if the office area. Well my daughter blurted out "Mom what about the tv in your room".....lol. Oh isn't it fun when they do that to you?....lol.
Meb452m read my blog
Apr 11, 2008 | 7:43 PM

Good stories Deborah and Ziggy ! My last vechicle didn't have power windows, Sam's vocabullary wasn't the issue though. It was the stuff she would get hold of and gleefully toss out the window. I'd be drivin' and trying to slide down and blend in with the seat !
Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
Apr 12, 2008 | 8:06 AM

Yeah Meb, she is terrified of spiders. LOL

I forgot about the oldest daughter. She was a little thing and I took her into the grocery store. There was a man in the store with only one leg. The other one was cut off right above the knee. Well, in his buggy he had a whole chicken and some other items, but she noticed him before I did, and started asking, "Hey, what's wrong with his leg?" Not once, but in a repetitive way. I told her to be quiet, and then I noticed the dripping. Lord, I hope it was the chicken, and not the mans leg. Gross. I was embarrassed.
Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
Apr 12, 2008 | 8:08 AM

All those stories are funny. Thanks for the great post Meb.
DeborahLakeHelen read my blog view my photos
Apr 12, 2008 | 9:00 AM

Oh, Zeb and Gammie! Aren't kids just great! My oldest daughter, who has never given me a lick of trouble in her lufe, once told a man, a really, really large man at a salad bar, in a very loud voice, "You better keep eatin' that salad, if you wanna lose that fat ass of yours!" She was 4 years old at the time, and said it with a deadpan face! I almost fainted. He ignored her.
DeborahLakeHelen read my blog view my photos
Apr 12, 2008 | 9:01 AM

I meant in her life. I'm trying to type with one finger, and hold a chunky monkey on my lap!
Gammies61 read my blog view my photos
Apr 12, 2008 | 9:08 AM

LOL Now where did she learn that? You can say it is her Father's fault. I'd believe you!
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Meb452m

I've been a resident of Orlando and Orange Co. since 1960.

Member Since: 4/13/2007


 

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