J. Gravelle's Blog

Everybody else is going to spout warm, cheery, heartfelt, sappy, lovey-dovey, sticky sweet sentiments today.

They'll pretend that the things they're most grateful for are the things they're supposed to appreciate:  love of family, loyal friends, blah blah health, blah good fortune blah, blah blah blah Hallmark greeting cards blah blah blah. 

You want something to be REALLY thankful for?  Be thankful you don't know what the people close to you are really thinking.

Look at the folks sitting around your table today.  These are the same people who, two hours earlier, sat in a pew with their heads bowed vowing to become better people.  Fast forward two hours, and in a moment of passionate honesty they'll be screaming that Tony Romo is an "emmer effer" for costing them twenty bucks in the office football pool. 

If any of them could be that frank while giving thanks, today would be an entirely different holiday experience.

But they won't, so I'll hafta do it for 'em.  So here's

Gravelle's Brutally Honest List 'o Stuff I'm Thankful For:

• I'm thankful I won't be the oldest or fattest person at the table, though I'm closer to both titles every year;
• I'm thankful that my girlfriend's couch cushions are the proper density to make my gas inaudible;
• I'm thankful that I can blame foreign smells on the dog;
• I'm thankful that the dog can't defend himself;
• I'm thankful people will laugh when I tell the same jokes I told last Thanksgiving.  And last Christmas.  And the Fourth of July;
• I'm thankful for commercial breaks during the NFL games, each with the potential to unveil another new Victoria's Secret advertisement.  When I tell my son that women used to wear torpedo bras OVER their sweaters in 1960s Playtex commercials when I was growing up, he looks at me like the dog does when he smells something foreign;
• I'm thankful that my girlfriend doesn't wear a 1960s Playtex bra over her sweater.  I don't find torpedoes erotic;
• I'm thankful that I don't find torpedoes erotic; and
• I'm thankful for HDTV and Tivo which, when it comes right down to it, make the whole Victoria's Secret thing that much better. 

Okay, I've been pretty facetious up 'til now.  But in all honesty, I am truly thankful for my friends and family.  Mostly, I appreciate those with big screen HDTV sets who have Tivo-ed all the latest Victoria's Secret commercials and let me watch them while eating their food, sitting on their couch, and framing their dog.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.  Sorry for getting all sentimental on you like that.  This only happens to me once a year.

You should be thankful for that...


===================================

THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS WERE

... astounded (yet again!) at my psychic prowess:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1307

... saddened by my disappearing Ringo autograph:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1321

... shocked to learn that I love Madison, but I really do:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1324

... and ...

... educated about the best reason yet to re-legalize pot:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1342


===================================

LAST WEEK'S NEWS FOR YOUSE TO PERUSE
(in between football games ... THREE of 'em!  Yay!)

You Boys Have Fun Sleeping Together in the Woods
I'll stay here and keep an eye on all of our wives
http://www.thenorthwestern.com/article/20081125/OSH06/
811250381
Dude is REALLY missing the bigger picture here...

Gas Cheaper Than Milk Again
http://www.wisconsinagconnection.com/story-state.php?I
d=1423&yr=2008
...making my lactation-powered compact car economically impractical.
Too bad, too.  The filling stations I had planned would have been awesome...

Paul Bunyan Was No Alice in Dairyland
http://www.wisconsinagconnection.com/story-state.php?I
d=1422&yr=2008
Gotta love a gal who chops down trees, hey

Kids Are Learning to Be As Tolerant of Others as Middle Easterners Are
http://www.jsonline.com/features/religion/34915729.htm
l

The Left Gets It Right ... United By Our Common Hatred
I despise these ads too hey... shaaaaave myyyyy rearrrr hole....

..and...

The Downside of Cheaper Gas : Affordable Hummercide
http://www.jsonline.com/news/crime/34915919.html

===================================


I'm filling in for the award-winning Kevin Fischer tomorrow on his FranklinNow / This Just In blog, featuring never before seen footage of "Cops in Kenosha" as they bust a ring of notorious text messagers.

I took his blog from first to eighth place last time I sat in.  Come see why his readers like me even less than you do.

Why, yes.  Apparently that IS possible.

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Look, any guy who can:

a) cripple the U.S. economy just by RUNNING for the office; and
b) then destroy it completely by winning the election

...has GOT to be given consideration for the title.

I know, I know.  You're worried that I'm prematurely robbing Jimmy Carter of the distinction.  "Worst President Ever" is, after all, a title that the Peanut Prez worked tirelessly at.

And like some of you, I had a Jimmy Carter dartboard.  But the thing is, back then, even as bad as things were, we could AFFORD Jimmy Carter dartboards.

At this rate, not only do I doubt I'd be able to afford a Barry O. dartboard, but I'm skeptical it'll even be legal to own one... 

==============================

THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS

...don't want to see Gravelle in a swimsuit calendar
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1300

...know how to get out of a "driving while texting" ticket in Kenosha:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1289
by exploiting a simple but blatant loophole in their new ordinance

...might be owed a piece of 163 Million U.S. Dollars:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1272
(that's about 280 bucks Canadian, or four Euros)

...and...

...got to see my first rejected Journal-Sentinel column
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1258

I should never have typed it naked.  Makes my writing too racy.

Then again, it's so much easier to work the spacebar that way...

============================

THIS WEEK'S NEWS FOR YOUSE TO PERUSE

Hey, baby.  You say your name's "Ava"?
Article Link : Green Bay Press Gazette
I'm old, so I don't know any "Ava"s, nor "Ethan"s, for that matter...

At Some Point, We're Just Better Off Burning Money
Article Link : iStockAnalyst.com
That article was the inspiration for this editorial cartoon:



...and...

The Sentence for Criminal Women in Their Twenties?
Sex with guys my age.  Ewwwwwwwwwww...
Article Link : Journal-Sentinel Online ... a Terrific Newspaper

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

In "Back to the Future", a kid goes into his parents' past and alters history.  The changes result in images dissolving off of a family photo he carries around.

On Obama's  "Change.gov" website, the candidate promises to "require" compulsory community service by children and young adults.  This is the same method used by a charismatic young German some years back to recruit his "youth movement".

Of course, once people began to read the fine print and the implications of Herr Obama's boot camp were made public, the site began to change.  It tap danced through several iterations trying to make conscripted brainwashing palatable to the masses, and eventually they gave up altogether.

*Poof*.  The content has vanished.

Well, not entirely.  The LittleGreenFootballs site has archived the entire scary plan for your children.  And you were worried about John McCain stealing your baby?

This episode inspired a song which I wrote this week while guest-blogging for Kevin Fischer's "This Just In" forum.  Rather than re-type it, I'll just point you over there...


==========================

MILWAUKEE JOURNAL-SENTINEL
DOUBLES THEIR RIGHT-WING
COLUMNISTS ... TO TWO

If you missed the buzz last week, or didn't see last Sunday's "Crossroads" section, or neglected to read my self-absorbed (I know, totally not like me, right?) announcement, I've been selected as a paid Community Columnist for the newspaper.

We had the photo shoot this week down at the Journal offices.  Mine were taken nude, but tastefully.

It's going to be nice to make the paper and NOT be in the police blotter section for once.  I'll share more behind the scenes stories here and on my Daily Scoff blogsite in weeks to come...


==========================


THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS:


Saw the Secret Diagram of Obama's "Free" Health Care Plan
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1224
...in all its spendiferous detail;

Know About the "Great Wall of Waukesha"
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1236
...which is an idea that gets better the longer I think about it;

Got a Peek at My First Autograph - Art Carney
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1228
...and if Ed Norton ever plays the role of Art Carney my head will explode;

...and...

Know That I've Been at the Helm of Kevin Fischer's "This Just In" blog, all week, rated Wisconsin's #1 Most Influential Blog by nation-wide BlogNetNews.com

...sooooooo....


THIS WEEK'S "THIS JUST IN" READERS:

Enjoyed a Special Guest Blog by Senator Joe Biden
LINK

Heard About the Parasites in Public Schools
LINK

...and...

Saw My Extensive "To Do" List
LINK


Busy freakin' week hey.  And yet, I've still managed to compile my list of:

=========================


NEWS FOR YOUSE TO PERUSE


Beauty Salon in Muskego Robbed
http://www.jsonline.com/newswatch/34290074.html
Muskego has a beauty salon?  With MONEY?

New Express Lane in Wisconsin
[ LONG LINK : New Richmond News ]
Nonstop service from here to Socialized Medicine...

Doyle to Cut State Jobs
[ LONG LINK : WKBT ]
Freeing up enough cash for his upcoming stay at the Beverly Hills Hilton...

...and...

Plenty of Eyes Are Still On Palin
[ LONK LING : MLIVE.com ]
Most.  Obvious.  Headline.  Ever

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

...despite the overt (and might I add, disturbing) arousal of MSNBC's punditry.

By now, you may have heard about this fella Obama winning the race to become Komissar of the new U.S.S.of A..  Giddy fanboys Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews have gone through hours of analyses (and more than a few Kleenex®, no doubt) in a painstaking review of what happened, why it happened, and how it happened.  To their credit, they've only used the taunting phrase "nanny-nanny-boo-boo" once or twice during their giggly gloat-fest.

I don't have enough time, energy, or Astro-Glide® to replicate all of their efforts.  But I do have a computer and the artistic capacity of a nine year-old, which allows me to synopsize the race for you quickly, succinctly, and thusly:


Click for a larger image, if your eyes are as bad as mine.
Free to use on your own site, with a reciprocal link to the Daily Scoff.
All rights reserved, while we still have them.


I understand that Mr. Limbaugh opined: "Conservatism didn't lose; it wasn't on the ballot".  True, but various states DID put Liberalism to a vote in the form of referenda on forced race-based hiring quotas and gay marriage.

And Liberalism lost.  Most amazingly, it lost in California.

As a result (and this is perhaps THE most important facet of the entire election) Ellen Degeneres is once again living in sin with Portia de Rossi.  This means, of course, that neither woman can get into heaven without a pardon from Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

THAT, my friends, is the sort of in-depth political analysis that your MSNBC-watchers missed out on this week.  It is also the reason I've been asked to fill in for esteemed TV/Radio pundit Kevin Fischer all next week on his renowned "This Just In" blog at FranklinNow.com.

Heads up:  When I fill in for Mr. Fischer, I'll be confirming a rumor that's been floating around about the local, established media outlet that's convinced me to work for them.  It seems every other week the success of this blogging thing gives me another opportunity to thank you guys.

So thanks again, again.  Again...


==================================

ILLINOIS LOTTERY PICK-THREE NUMBER
for November 5th, the Day After the Election

 6  6  6

[ LINK : IllinoisLottery.com ]

I'm not saying.  I'm just saying...


==================================


THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS SAW:


A Liberal Halloween
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1156
Oooh, scary boys and girls...

Democrats "Lined Up Around the Block"
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1172
...to carry out Oprah's marching orders

Why Obama Will Make Me Money
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1192
...right before he confiscates all of it

...and...

The Obama Victory Prediction
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1162
Sometimes, prescience is painful


==================================


A SHOUT OUT TO DETROIT FOOTBALL FANS:



GO LIONS!!!


===========================


THIS WEEK'S NEWS FOR ALLA YOUSE TO PERUSE:


"I told her to do ME on village time, not my resume"
http://www.jsonline.com/news/ozwash/33733569.html


Go Iron, Woman!  I mean... um, Go Ironwoman!
[ STORY LINK ]


Gravelle's Survival Tip: 
Don't Stop Your Car if Somebody's Shooting At It
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,446284,00.html


...and...

Watching TV Can Make You Pregnant
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27506234/

Parents, try blocking every channel but MSNBC.  Problem solved.

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

BREAKING EXCLUSIVE:  the Republican Party is behind the most nefarious vote stealing initiative in our nation's history.

GOP operatives have managed a successful dis-information campaign, aimed at getting people to vote on November the 4th instead of the ACTUAL polling date: Tuesday, November 11th.

They've managed to get the incorrect 11/4 date inserted into community calendars, erroneously printed in campaign literature, and even reported on television.  Rumor has it they'll be renting out the polling places ON the fourth and populating them with actors playing the role of poll workers and fellow voters.  Do NOT be fooled by this ruse!

Clearly, this is an attempt to get you to throw away your vote by missing the actual November 11th voting date.  Warn your friends and family!  There will be an all out effort to fool you into sacrificing your ballot on the fourth.  Be strong.  Keep your TV and radio off that day.  Don't answer the phone.  And whatever you do, don't let anybody talk you into voting until the REAL election day, November 11th.

Rumor has it they may even try to discredit THIS report by infiltrating this blog.  Whatever you do, remain strong and vigilant against their onslaught.

Isn't it amazing the lengths some people will go to in an attempt to cost you your right to vote?


=============================


FOR BONO, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CHILDREN

With his wife holed up in a nearby hotel room taking care of HIS kids, U2's Bono was down at the beach looking after a couple of the neighbor girls.

Given that his own music is a generation or two removed from this small (one might even say "intimate") audience, perhaps he sang them songs better fitting their demographic:
 

SESAME CHEAT:  If the name "Bono" didn't have a long "O" sound before, it certainly does now.

You might be asking why the morality of a rock singer is even relevant to the discussion in a political forum at all.  Join the club.

A lot of us have wondered that exact same thing for years...


=============================


THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF* FEATURES INCLUDED:
(*Now the Third Most Popular Daily Political Satire Site in the World)

A Dig at the NFL's Corporate Welfare for Baseball
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1090
Our long national nightmare is over.  Until the spring...

My Defense of the Journal-Sentinel's Unbiased News
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1086
Proof positive that our newspaper is neutral.  So there...

A Comparison of Tina Fey & Sarah Palin
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1088
Spoiler:  there IS no comparison...

...and...

The Introduction of My New Favorite Blogger
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1079

You'll be surprised to learn that he's not very political at all...


=============================


WEAKLY NEWS


Grateful Dead Keyboard Player Dies at 74
http://www.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idUST
RE49Q6HE20081027
Vows to tour thru 2010... warns McCain he "still can't use my music, Dude"...

I Guess I Can Say it Now, Since She's Alluding to It
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2008/10/palin-
suggests.html
Two scary words:  Constitutional Convention

Stone's Movie Makes Audience Like Bush
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/10/24/opinion/main
4544588.shtml
Maybe Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres, and Melissa Etheridge should go see it.
Oh wait, I guess technically, they already love bush...

...and...

Since the GOP Has Renounced Ted Stevens...
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,444666,00.html

...I'm sure the DNC will demand that Boston State Senator Dianne Wilkerson step down, too. 

Hmm... guess we can't hear the Democrats' cries of outrage over all those crickets chirping.

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

I was J. the Plumber.

No, I wasn't licensed.  But I did use pipe cutters, pull old lead risers, sweat copper piping, glue PVC joints, swap out antiquated water heaters the size of phone booths*, salvage steel claw foot tubs that weighed more empty than most modern tubs do full, and I've even installed what the boys in the business reverently call a "throne".

*Kids, ask Grandma and Grandpa what a "phone booth" was.

I was J. the Carpenter.

No, I wasn't certified, but I have it on good authority that I may be certifiable.  Still, I used a sledge to knock out, and a wheelbarrow to haul, half a ton of plaster of Paris.  That was, in retrospect, the first day that I disavowed my French heritage.  I hung replacement drywall, taped, mudded, sanded, wet-wiped and painted it.  Which, I guess, also means

I was J. the Painter.

And I've been J. the janitor, J. the waiter, J. the dishwasher, J. the radio personality, J. the bartender, J. the roadie, J. the author, J. the tow truck operator, J. the race car driver and J. the wannabe musician (whose best paying gig was as J. the Singing Telegram Delivery Guy Dressed Like a Gorilla... and while I wish I were kidding, I'm not). 

For the last decade and a half, I've (mostly) been J. the Information Technology contractor, which is the umbrella term for J. the computer support guy, J. the network administrator, J. the hardware technician, J. the programmer, J. the project manager, and J. the consultant.

All of us... every J. the [ fill in the blank ] has a bad back from the manual labor, high blood pressure from the psychological labor, and now, bad eyes from growing old too early and... um, from that thing Mom warned me about. 

Every J. I was and am worked his butt off to get here, into a modest condo, into a middle-class suburb, and into a(nother) used car.  Today, every J. I am already works from dawn until lunch to earn money that's taken from him and given to somebody else.  And every J. I am seethes with anger when politicians who have never swung a hammer and never suffered so much as a callous or a blister (except perhaps as a member of their Ivy League rowing team) tells me that even more of what I've earned has to be taken and given to somebody else.

This, to be "fair".  This, to "level the playing field".

Democrats (and lately, too many Republicans) "level the playing field" much the same way that a lawnmower does.  The shorter blades aren't any taller afterward, but those that dared to reach for the sun have found themselves cut down for trying.  Rather than nurture the pasture and allow each of us to grow to our potential, they reduce us to the level of our lowest common denominator. 

Liberals assume we achievers were lucky, or born into privilege, because the successful among THEM were.  They could easily assuage their guilt by giving away their own money, but they'd prefer to give away mine.

And yours, if you'll let them.

Don't.


=========================

FUN WITH ETYMOLOGY


I couldn't work it into the above, but "plumb" is synonymous with "flush", meaning that "plumber" literally means "one who makes things flush".

And Aerosmith, if you're interested, roughly translates to:  "break wind".

We now return you to my regular weekly diatribe, already in progress...


=========================


THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS
now know (because I told them) about:


Taco Bell's Four Hundred Dollar Burritos
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1028
...and (for now), their great customer service


My Continuing Praise for Barack Obama
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=996
...for coming clean on His website


The Pee-waukee Pirate P-Shirts
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=959
...featured at fine online clothiers with this stylish logo:




...and along that same line of thinking...


How Colin Powell Puts the "P" in "GOP"
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=1007
Yeah, it's exactly what you're thinking...


=========================


THE WEAKLY NEWS IN REVIEW

Thanks to everybody who sent in suggestions for this week's collection of headlines.  And by "everybody", I mean "both of you".  Fortunately for me, our winner already has a mug.  And I'm hesitant to give the runner-up one because it's a heavy piece of ceramic with a handle, and wielding it might violate the terms of their parole.

Anyway, here are the best stories, with thanks to C.S. for the one about the duck:


India Going to the Moon
[ LINK ]
Grand opening announced for new "Apollo 7-11" convenience store chain...


Bill Gates to Give $1,000,000 to a "Crazy" Person
[ LINK ]
If you registered with ACORN, you're probably in the running.
And speaking of which...


Ousted US Attorney Denounces ACORN Probe
[ LINK ]
That's right up there with:
Fired Fry Cook Says Wendy's Food "Sucks" ... Claims Managers are "All Dilweeds"


...and finally, the most under-reported story of the week...


If it Looks Like a Duck ... It's Obviously a Tomato
[ LINK ]
Laugh all you want.  It'll make somebody rich on eBAY.

=========================


MY FINAL THOUGHT THE WEEK IS THIS:

If liberalism isn't a disease, why does NPR keep holding telethons to raise money for it?

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Campaigner:  Good morning!  I'm here today to ask you to vote for Barack Obama.  Praise be His name.

Citizen:  Oh, hi.  Wait, what was that last part?

Campaigner:  Um, nothing.  I said nothing.

Citizen:  Okay... what's your candidate's position on--

Campaigner:  RACIST!  YOU CAN'T SAY--  Oh, sorry.  That's kinda reflexive.  What were you saying?

Citizen:  Well, there seems to be some question about whether Obama was even born in the U.S. ...

Campaigner:  Nonsense.  I have a photocopy of an artist's rendering of a description of His original birth certificate right here.

Citizen:  That doesn't look very--

Campaigner:  And look!  All His campaign literature is in red, white, and blue.  I mean, how much proof do you need?

Citizen:  Okayyyy... well, what about his relationship with anti-American racist Jeremiah Wright?

Campaigner:  That's not the Reverend Wright HE knew...

Citizen:  ...and anti-American domestic terrorist William Ayers?

Campaigner:  That's not the Bill Ayers HE knew...

Citizen: ...and--

Campaigner:  That's NOT the Tony Rezko HE knew...

Citizen:  ...and his wife saying she had never been proud of America--

Campaigner:  THAT'S NOT THE WOMAN HE MARRIED!

Citizen:  Um, could I see your campaign credentials?

Campaigner:  [Waving his hand] These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Citizen:  These aren't the droids I'm looking for?

Campaigner:  Ha!  Works every time.

Citizen:  Look, I don't understand anything about the Obama cam--

Campaigner:  Praise be His name.

Citizen:  -paign.  He says he won't raise taxes on 95% of Americans, but he's going to raise corporate taxes, which WE all pay.  Plus he's going to tax the oil companies to lower gas prices?  THAT doesn't make any sense either...

Campaigner:  It's pretty apparent that I can't have a civilized conversation with the likes of you.

Citizen:  ???

Campaigner:  You doubt Him.  You cast aspersions upon Him.  You even refuse to pronounce His pronouns with a capital "H" in reverence to His greatness.

Citizen:  How do you pronounce "him" with a capital-- ...?

Campaigner:  Blasphemer!  You dare disdain the one true prophet... the Messiah... sent by Allah to-- I mean, by the Christian god to--  Look, do you want a pamphlet or not?

Citizen:  No, I don't suppose I do.

Campaigner:  Alright.  Could I at least interest you in our voting service?

Citizen:  By "voting service", you don't mean that you'd--

Campaigner:  Vote for you, on your behalf, yes.  Actually, it looks like we've already registered you and we're going to submit an absentee ballot in your name.  Unless you opt out by the cutoff date.

Citizen:  And when's the cutoff date?

Campaigner:  Last January.  Sooo, I guess you'll be staying home on election day.  Can't have you voting twice, after all.  That is, unless--

Citizen:  Unless I'm voting for Obama?

Campaigner:  Praise be His name...

===================


  "I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message"

=====================


THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS WERE WARNED ABOUT:


Deadly Weasels
thanks to the DNR (and of course, the DNC):
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=919

Point-One-Two Peg Loudandslobberin'
is back on the road, and YOU might be her next casualty:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=914

the Unlikelihood of the Tony Gonzales Trade
long before the rest of you were disappointed:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=902

...and...

My Breaking Story of the Week
the sinister 'Oats for Votes' Scandal
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=875

=====================


I sent a complimentary box of my new Scoffee Cups over to our friends at Fox6 this morning with a note to the effect that, since I have to look at THEIR mugs all day, they have to stare at mine now, too.

Note to the staff:  they were inked in China.  Try not to get 'em wet...



( You can see a workplace inappropriate photo of a nice pair of these cups by clicking HERE. )


Since I've been running all over town for days in this drink-ware delivering, shameless self-promotional effort, I haven't had time to compile the weird stories for the week.

But e-mail me yours (with links to the source) for inclusion next week.  The best stories are usually either unnoticed items, or something unnoticed ABOUT a popular news story.
Example:  A couple weeks back the AP reported that a pilot crashed his plane and drove himself to the hospital.  The story left this question unanswered:  IN WHAT?!

Stories with a local/Wisconsin hook and political implications score big too.

I'll send the best submission a book and mug for helping me out.  Everybody else gets a pat on the head and a sincere "Thank You".  No whining, dammit.

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

I'm not as worried as some about Obama's kinsmanship with a notorious domestic terrorist.

Don't get me wrong.  That IS troubling, but if you're staring down a charging rhinoceros, you shouldn't get too hung up on how sharp his horn might be.  There's a lot more behind it that you should be concerned with.

So too with Barry who, admittedly, "pals around" with Bill "Wish We'd Killed More Americans" Ayers.  Yeah, that's a problem, but if we start locking up everybody who admires anti-American college professors, Leavenworth would become an Ivy League institution (with a helluva Journalism department, I'll admit).

The bigger prOblama is that nearly every one of America's enemies is an enthusiastic supporter of His O-liness.  I've created a small collage of a few of the most notorious below.  If you're pro-bama, feel free to print it out, cut out the blank face, and paste it on your bathroom mirror so that every morning you can remind yourself of the people you've aligned yourself with.

That assumes you CAN look yourself in the mirror.  Frankly, I don't know how any Obamaniacs can...



==================================

I'M COMPLETELY FULL OF NUMBER TWO
...but you probably already knew that.

This week's BlognetNews rankings are out, and thanks in large part to you,
and in no small part to last week's promotion of the Daily Scoff by television
and radio's Kevin Fischer, WTMJ's Charlie Sykes, encouragement from my
occasional pen pal Mr. McIlheran over at the Journal / Sentinel, and of course,
the staff and air talent here at WITI Fox6 who got me started, I am (for the time
being) Wisconsin's second most influential political blogger.

I'm sending out early Xmas gifts to the area media celebrities (and others) who share
the blame credit for helping light the marquee during my Warhol-ian 15 minutes.

Check your mail, my friends...


===================================

THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS
...were none too shocked to learn that:


Wisconsin has run out of criminals
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=848
...but don't worry, we're making more!

Our next president will pay your mortgage
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=861
...with your money, but it's the thought that counts

The Government Accountability Board is FINALLY acting
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=839
...like idiots

...and...

MSNBC's election coverage might be biased
...no, really.  Here's a behind-the-scenes exclusive courtesy of the Daily Scoff:





===============================

NEWS FOR YOUSE TO PERUSE AND USE
Stuff I ran across this week you mighta missed:


Government-issued security device is
"high-tech" and "not easy to circumvent":
[ LONG LINK : JSOnline ]
...without something as elaborate as say, a balloon...

Polling place performance art, yes:
[ LONG LINK : JSOnline ]
...but oatmeal raisin cookies are too disruptive...

...and

Democrats always want us to be more like Europe:
[ LONG LINK : UK Daily Mail ]
...but I'm guessing a few of 'em are gonna re-think that now.


Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

My eyesight has been going lately.  I shouldn't be surprised:  Mom warned me it would.  I blame the Internet.

Still, when I read this headline:

Cuts Lead to Smaller Increases in Waukesha Budget

...I assumed my eyes were playing tricks on me.  Surely it's common knowledge that cutting the budget for something can't allow the purchaser to "increase" the amount they buy, isn't it?  We all get that, don't we?

No, "we" don't.  Some of "we" apparently live in an alternate Bizarro-World reality, shaped by the constant distortions of political wonks impressing upon us that the word "increase" is somehow synonymous with the word "cut"... where left is always right and right is always wrong.

I couldn't allow myself to believe that "we" had become so unquestioningly accepting of this sort of ludicrous assertion.  I poured myself a tumbler full of 100-proof reason on the rocks and re-read the headline, hoping the mental lubrication would free a stuck cog or gear, raising my mental portcullis and allowing me to discover what I'd been too rational and sober to see before. 



It was no use.  Even with half a snoot-full I couldn't make sense of "Revenue Cuts Lead to Increased Budget".  Perhaps the ice in my glass took up space that would have been better used to supply me with more alcohol.

I pondered that maybe they'd dropped a "Can't" or a "Won't" from the middle of the shentenche.  (That'sh right, when I drink and type I shometimesh shlur my wordsh.  Thish ish why I don't shurf to the Shtate Poliche's Webshyte.)

It DID occur to me that, if modest cuts in the Waukesha budget lead to small increases in spending, that perhaps HUGE cuts would, conversely, grow their coffers exponentially.  (I know that THIS is a good idea, because it still made sense the next morning.)  So I now propose that Waukesha cut their budget 100%, and their treasury should, using their own perverse bureaucratic logic, fill to the brim.

I have anecdotal proof that it works.  I, myself, have cut my own budget substantially this year, and as a result, I am totally full of it.

Ask anybody...


==============================

THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS:

...saw the clever cartoon inspired by the above diatribe:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=795

...know why Democrats are asking voters to ignore Obama:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=772

...might have read my piece on public school math:
(featured on Charlie Syke's "Sykes Writes" blog)
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=734
This has been my most popular item to date thanks to
that promotion, and of course, you, my evil minions...

...and...

...were treated to three bonus pieces as I filled in
for my friend Kevin Fischer while he did the Belling show:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=709
...including an article with a title I never thought I'd write,
called:  "Why Conservatives Should Love Tom Barrett"


==============================

NOOZ FROM THE PAST SEVEN DAYZ:

Well Then, It Can Effing Build Itself, Too
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=799999

Germantown School Board sez school will, quote:
"...pay for itself..."        Sure it will...

Good Thing He Brought a Car on the Plane
[ Long LINK to Chicago Tribune Article ]
The AP wire story said essentially that:
"A guy crashed his plane and drove himself to the hospital."
I can't be the ONLY reader who demanded to know:
"...in WHAT?!"  Ghaa!  We need more Paul Harveys...

...and...

Why Grandma, What Big Lawsuits You File
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=800499

Ecologists don't get to determine when a species is
endangered.  Neither do biologists, conservationists,
animal behavioralists, or zoologists.  Lawyers do.

I know.  I'm not really surprised either...


==============================

YOU SHOULD BE COMMENDED

...for not entering my tasteless contest last week.  "Adoseoftruth" can claim the prize book if he'd like.  It's fantastic for stopping the dining room table from wobbling.  Drop me an email with your mailing address, dude.
 

And thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Moderator:  There has been a change of plan for tonight's scheduled Vice-Presidential Candidate Debate between Senator Joseph Biden and Governor Sarah Palin.  Mrs. Palin's schedule had to be updated at the last minute to include extended tour dates with Metallica. 

Hundreds of thousands of advance tickets have been sold, and the Governor sends her apologies to Senator Biden, along with this Palin-palooza World Tour '08 t-shirt, an autographed NRA poster, and an advance copy of her latest CD, "Juneau You Want Me".

Biden:  It's just as well.  She-- ooh, sweet t-shirt, hey.  Is that an XL?  I could wear a large, but as soon as you wash it--

Moderator:  Senator--

Biden:  ...that cotton, I don't know what it is, but it always shrinks up on--

Moderator:  Senator, if we could--

Biden:  ...even in cold water.  It's strange.  Very strange.

Moderator:  Senator Biden, since Mrs. Palin could not be here this evening, would you be opposed to debating an alternate opponent?

Biden:  Well I... I mean, I suppose I'd consider--

Moderator:  Very well.  In the interest of fairness Senator, we've entered your vital statistics, including your college test scores, political policies, and voting record, into this powerful computer, the Debate-O-Tron 5000, courtesy of this evening's sponsor, Match-dot-com.  In just a moment, you'll be paired up with somebody of the same mental stature and capacity as yourself, and we'll begin this evening's debate--

   *DING*

Moderator:  The results have been tabulated, and the Debate-O-Tron 5000 suggests that you debate...

   *Drum roll*

Moderator:  ...a doorknob.

Biden:  C'mon now, that's ridiculous.



Moderator:  You object to debating a doorknob, sir?  You don't hear the doorknob complaining--

Biden:  Look, we don't know anything about this doorknob.  How do I know you haven't given it the debate questions in advance?

Moderator:  Senator, I can assure you--

Biden:  Go on, ask your questions.  You don't scare me.  I spent five years in a Vietnamese prisoner camp--

Moderator:  I think that was Senator McCain...

Biden:  You're going to take their side all night, ain'tcha, O'Reilly?

Moderator:  It's Stephanopolous, senator. 

Biden:  Surrrre it is.  Surrrre it is...

Moderator:  I'll address tonight's first question to you, Senator Biden.  How would you advise a 'President Obama' regarding the current economic crisis?

Biden:  Well thank you, Katie.

Moderator:  George.

Biden:  First, I'd like to thank the Daughters of the American Revolution for sponsoring this evening's debate.

Moderator:  Actually, it's the League of Women Voters who--

Biden:  Look, I didn't interrupt any of your answers, Katie.  I'd appreciate it if you'd let me finish.  The people of this country turn to Washington for guidance.  City dwellers, country farmers, and the tree people who inhabit our jungles all deserve a President who can legislate away the problems that all these so-called "liberties" have caused.  I would hope we can harken back to the wisdom of that great Democrat Abraham Lincoln who, at the height of the Korean war missile crisis declared "Give me liberty, and you've given me death".

Moderator:  Doorknob, your response?  Doorknob?

Biden:  Left him speechless, didn't I?

Moderator:  Frankly Senator, we all are...


============================

MORE BRUSHES WITH GREATNESS

Yesterday, I was privileged once again to assume the role of "the guy who fills in for the guy who fills in for the guy who fills in for Rush Limbaugh" when I kept Kevin Fischer's blog churning away while he filled in on the Mark Belling Late Afternoon Show.

Links to the three pieces I contributed in his absence are online HERE.

I'll be covering for Kev again on Monday at his "This Just In" blog hosted at FranklinNow.com...


===============================

THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF FEATURED:

An exclusive on our State Treasurer losing her freakin' mind:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=668

A plea to the media to elaborate on the death of skydiver Bill Doherty:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=703

...and...

A political cartoon that you can print out and hand to the MoveOn cult members who ring your doorbell:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=678


===============================

RECENT NEWS THAT CAUGHT MY EYE:

Worst Negotiators Ever
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=797348

Teamsters reject offer, so Waste Management tries offering LESS money.
Of course, if it WORKS, they're friggin' geniuses...

Justification for the Death Penalty
[ LINK : AP Wire Story ]
If this article doesn't convince you to support capital punishment, I dunno what will...

...and...

Left-Wing Candidates Don't Benefit from Left-Wing Vote Fraud
[ LINK : Chicago Tribune Story ]
So says Left-Wing "Think"-Tank, Common Cause, so it MUST be true...


===============================

THIS WEEK'S READER CHALLENGE:

Wisconsin is becoming a global leader in the supply of bull semen:
http://www.madison.com/tct/business/305478

In the event we lose the "Dairy State" title to California, this new industry will garner us a new title.  "Come" up with a new slogan for Wisconsin, and design a new license plate to go with it.

I'll send the best entrant an autographed and inscribed copy of my book, "Homeless to Homeowner: the Birth of a Libertarian".  Good luck.

And thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Waste Management is obviously discriminating against whitey.

Overwhelmingly, the majority of the home and business owners in the six county area impacted by the Teamster's garbagemen strike are Honkycasian-American.  Clearly then, this effort was purposefully orchestrated in an effort to send a message to alla y'all of European descent:

WMI hates us white people.

This entire strike and the management thereof was clearly orchestrated to perpetuate hatred and discrimination of my melanin-deprived brethren.  And sisteren.  Not to mention my cousinen, aunten, uncle-en, and... well I think you get the idea.

How's that?  You think it's ridiculous to assign a racial motive to clumsy municipal service management?  Tell it to Eugene Kane, who insists Milwaukee's potholes are are discriminatory toward his fellow hyphenated Americans.

No, I don't get it either.  But that's because, I'm told, I'm insensitive to the historic struggle endured by some minorities to rise up from the oppression of their racist street pavers.

Apparently, it's a black(top) thing...

==============================

THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF ANGERED PEOPLE (AGAIN) BECAUSE I:

...suggested we free the cop-killing Oswald family from prison
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=647

...pointed out Obama is buying your vote with YOUR OWN money:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=619

...said "boobage" again (and showed a picture of 'em):
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=420

...and...

...opined that libraries should have more books than coffee beans:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=443


==============================

There's a rumor going around that I've been randomly mailing prizes to people who give the Daily Scoff positive Diggs or a thumbs up at Stumbleupon.  I can't dispel that, but if it's true, at least I'm buying votes with my OWN money...


===========================

THIS WEEK'S NEWS FOR YOUSE:

Wisconsin's Biggest Flippin' Idiot
http://www.madison.com/wsj/home/local/304962
...and yeah, it takes one to know one.  Shut up.

Thai Fest Successful Despite the Rain
http://www.madison.com/tct/news/stories/304858
...as festival goers worked diligently to keep sticks lit.

How Walmart Bought Off the Wisconsin DNR
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=794022

...because species are less endangered if you cut a check to the right bureaucrat(s); and

Give Him His Damn Donuts Back
http://www.madison.com/tct/news/police/304282
...at least THEN he's prob'ly drinkin' coffee.


===============================

PARTING SHOT:

I was subject to a "random" TSA search this week, after assuring my friends and co-workers ahead of time that I would be.  It's going to happen again, shortly.  Just remember, (y)our government assures us that all passengers are selected "randomly".

We'll see...

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

(Not raw.  Eww.  Gross.)

Untrue, you say?  So what?  "Truthiness" has had nothing whatsoever to do with criticizing Governor Palin.  The left's plan is to continually try and make up something so outrageous that the middle-class will abandon her.  The accusations have been so ludicrous that the left-wing Annenberg foundation's "FactCheck.org" has even thrown the yellow flag.  So has middle-of-the-road Snopes.com.

Unfortunately for her desperate attackers, the mud they're flinging doesn't stick to her.  In fact, it opens her pores, softens her skin, and gives her an even more youthful glow.  As one incredibly astute (and outrageously handsome) blogger remarked this week in a competing media commentary:  "It's as if they're trying to draw mustaches on her campaign posters but, not only does the ink not stick, her picture looks even better afterward."  If that's possible.

As you know, political operatives will publish the least flattering images of their opponents they can find.  The worst I've seen yet was this one from the Huffington Post online:

 
...in which she's apparently a little teapot, short, but definitely not stout.  Or perhaps she's just showing us how high the Democrats' manure pile has gotten.

Keep shovelin', boys.  She's still smellin' like a rose.  You guys on the other hand...


======================================

YOU KILLED MY SERVERS ... YOU B@$%@#)!!!

The Daily Scoff had to migrate to a bigger, badder
server rack space to handle our increased traffic volume. 

We've added DIGG and STUMBLEUPON
buttons so that you can brag to the world that you
are a faithful reader, which is almost as good as
getting my name tattooed on your buttage.

Not quite as good, but almost.

As always, please consider clicking an ad a day.
It'll help offset the cost of this out-of-control
mostrosity that, after all, YOU helped to create. 

Thanks...


======================================

THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS KNOW THAT:


 I support raising the legal age for EVERYTHING to 45
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=476

 There might be a better restaurant than Hooters™ now!
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=420

 The problem with most libraries is:  too many books
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=443

...and...

 Political cartooning takes too much time
In fact, so does clicking on all these d@mn links. 
I'll just paste my Jim Doyle jab in for you:



"I don't care where you're from.  That's funny, right there..."
-Larry the Cable Guy


============================================

SPECIAL TO THIS HERE FOX 6 BLOG THINGIE READERS


I don't know his name, because it's not in the story.

It may be the most woefully unreported news item this week, or maybe I just missed it getting all the coverage it deserves, but a 14 year-old boy rescued himself and two sisters from a fire this past week [ LINK : JSonline ].

If this kid had burnt down a house on purpose he would have gotten a ton of press.  I'm not critical of that, mind you.  But as much as society's punks need to be outed and shamed, so too do our heros need to be celebrated.

I'ma buy this kid a drink when he's old enough.  Or maybe I'll just have one FOR him tonight.

Yeah, I like that idea better...


==============================================

DIDN'T SEE SOME OF THESE NEWS STORIES, I BET'CHA


Save Our Coal ... it's a precious natural resource, after all:
http://www.csemag.com/article/CA6594551.html?desc=tops
tory
...and burn those horrible trees instead.  Good thinkin'...

State Bank of Wisconsin is now Spring Bank
http://www.bizjournals.com/milwaukee/stories/2008/09/0
8/daily20.html
...which is a name that just BEGS people to bounce checks.  I'm so there...

Holy restraining order, Batman
http://www.madison.com/tct/news/stories/304017

...and...

I'm glad my Dad's not alive to read this story
http://www.bnd.com/homepage/story/462602.html
It'd kill him.

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

True story: My step-brother's step-mom's step-sister's step-daughter's close childhood friend is GOP VP hopeful Sarah Palin.

Okay, my step-brother's step-mom is my mom, so I've admittedly over complicated that just because it was fun to type (and I get paid by the hyphen) but imagine how proud Governor Palin must be to be able to tell people that her close friend's step-mom's step-sister's step-son's step-brother is the guy who filled in for the guy who fills in for the guy who fills in for Rush Limbaugh.

 

I'm pretty sure that, once she gets into the White House, I'll get automatically elevated to some high ranking government office (like alderman or mailman or Spiderman) by virtue of our obtusely intimate relationship. Of course, I have to be "vetted" first, to make certain that none of the skeletons that escape from my closet frighten any voters away, thereby keeping my close, personal, half-in-law-step-relative-in-law-step-half-friend (in-law) out of the White House.

(Again... paid by the hyphen. Back off, I have a mortgage.)

So rather than allow the tabloids to soil my dirty laundry with their filthy rags, I'm going public with my disreputable past up front. I hereby admit, that:
 

1. I've experimented with illicit substances and, while many of my findings were extensively peer-reviewed, none of my results were ever published (unless you count etching "I'm so wasted!" on a toilet seat-- wait, that might have been a park bench... actually, I'm not certain I really discerned between the two back then);
2. Judy Garland singing "Over the Rainbow" makes me misty;
3. I might have voted for Feingold his first term. I'm honestly not certain. My only defense is item 1, above; and
4. Even once I sobered up, I found Sandra Bernhardt attractive for a while.

 
There you have it. It was cathartic to get all that off my chest. I might have felt even better if I'd gone that extra mile and admitted that I once delivered singing strip-o-grams for a living, but it's probably best if I keep that particular skeleton closeted.

Some bones, a guy just shouldn't expose. Not even on the Internet...


===================================
 2009 ENTERTAINMENT COUPON BOOKS
 Regular Price $40 + shipping ... but for you:
               ONLY $29.95 DELIVERED!

              
 ==================================

Proceeds go to support Poplar Creek Elementary school in New Berlin. 

This is cheaper than you'll find these books anywhere until probably March of next year... AND you'll get your money back with what you'll save on your first full-service oil change and lunch for two. 

I use the Entertainment book coupons every year because a) I'm a cheap S.O.B. and b) the proceeds go to a good cause that-- okay, I can't lie to you like that.  It's entirely just 'cuz I'm cheap.

Plus, if you buy now, you get to blow off all the OTHER parents who will be pestering you to buy THEIR kids' books (for a higher price, by the way).

This offer ends September 12th. 

Thanks for helping the kids of Poplar Creek Elementary School!

[ One-click ordering on the home page of the Daily Scoff. ]

Speaking of which...


=======================================

This Week's Daily Scoff Readers Found Out That:


A Madison Official Wants Public Urination Legalized
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=212

Harleys are a Great Argument AGAINST Seat Belts
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=225

Doves Are Being Shot (and Nobody's Mourning)
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=263

...and...

Liberals are Targeting the First Amendment (Again)
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=213


===================================

EXCLUSIVE TO WITI FOX 6 BLOG READERS:

Don't hit my girlfriend in the head with a football
Or else what?  Or else this...


===================================

NEWS HEADLINES YOU MAY HAVE MISSED:

Wisconsin Wins When Factory Jobs Leave the Country
and Head South of the National Border
Provided that country is Canada, and the border is to our north...

Hundreds Fill Pabst Theater to Watch Obama's Speech
Alternative Headlines:
Thousands Empty Pabst Bottles After Watching Obama's Speech
Hundreds of Obama Supporters Fill Out Thousands of Absentee Ballots

Bank Robbery Suspect Was 7 Feet Tall
Kinda makes the police lineup pretty obvious, I'm guessing

Bikers Terrorize Wisconsin
Hide your women, and shield the children's eyes...

Nader in Madison
Spotting that guy in that city is like playing "find the fat guy" at Lambeau Field.
It's a 3D 'Where's Waldo?'

...and...

Judge Not
He's a government employee AND a lawyer, and I like him anyway.

(That may be the only chance I get in this lifetime to type that sentence.)

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Our differences define us.

I don't demand that you change yourself to be like me (although, now that I see it in writing, it IS a fantastic idea and you really should consider it). 

In general, we try to appreciate one another's differences, since they help set us apart as unique individuals.  I, for example, appreciate it when you have a bad hair day, because it makes me look all that much better by comparison.  (On that note, I owe most of the people I saw this summer at the Washington County Fair a big ol'  "thank yewww".)

Likewise, we reap the benefits of the different cultures that influence our own.  Look at the vast array of food choices we have, thanks to the way we've embraced people from other lands.  We can often find FRENCH toast and CANADIAN bacon on the same restaurant menu, even though the French and the Canadians have absolutely nothing in common.  Our kitchens are stocked with Italian cuisine from internationally renowned chefs like Palermo, Tony, and Boyardee.  All this because we, as English-speaking, domestic-car-driving, Judeo-Christian, gun-toting Americans refuse to be stereotyped.

This is, as you know, reiterated by the welcoming inscription on the Statue of Liberty, reading:  "Cogito sum deo.  ExLax ad hominem."  Translation:  "Come, melt in our pot.  Make a run for the border."