jteamaz's Blog

Have you heard the news? The Surge is about to end. The next phase of our 100 year war is "The Pause." I put it in quotes because in fact, it's precisely the opposite of a pause, what they really mean is a continuation. But since "stay the course" was 12 slogans ago, they had to come up with a new one. So lest Congress get any crazy ideas about honoring the wishes of the majority of Americans and start bringing our troops home, the administration is going to run out the clock with around the same troop levels as we've had the last 5 years. This is standard operating procedure for the Bush administration; every time they look at the events on the ground in Iraq, instead of responding with a smart policy, they respond with a catchy new slogan. Usually, an utterly misleading and distracting one. Let's look at what we've had so far. First there was "Gathering Threat," Then "Axis Of Evil," And then, in order:

"Slam Dunk"

"Shock and Awe"

"Mission Accomplished"

"Last Throes"

"Adapt to Win"

"Stay the Course"

"New Way Forward"

And then "The Surge." Now, "The Pause."

Given the right imagery, slogans, and catch phrases, most Americans are dumb enough to buy anything. At the end of the day, the solution is not military. It's not political. It's promotional. We just need to get the boys in advertising to start kicking around some concepts. Maybe take the down and dirty P & G approach. Something like "New and Improved Iraq! Now With 20% Less Death!" How about a simple press release that says Iraq is going to rehab. "After years of battling inner demons, the country has finally admitted it has a problem, is courageously dealing with it, and therefore requests privacy at this difficult time."

Maybe we should just hire Larry The Cable Guy as the spokesperson for bringing our troops home. "Iraq, We Got-R-Done!" It'd be over in a week as I see it.