michelled's Blog

In researching Leukemia for yet another diagnoses for my recent health problems I came across "Hairy Cell Syndrome".   I know the topic is not funny, but the person that named a disease "Hairy Cell Syndrome" has to have a sense of humor!  It is hard to take that name serious, illness should at least have a dignified name.  I must admit I would have a hard time telling someone I have "Hairy Cell Syndrome" especially if all of my hair falls out from Chemo. 

All kidding aside, apparently this round of test show that I have a rare form of Leukemia and it can be managed.  This is my third diagnoses so I am hoping this one is the charm because I am ready to move on.  I do not care if I lose my hair or what the name is of what I have, I just want to get back to living my life.  

I know we are all just blogging friends but it is nice to know that you all are out there.  Thank you for your support, thoughts and prayers!   

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses."  Hippocrates

Becoming frustrated with my undiganosed condition and wanting to return to my previous level of health,  I asked my cousin how he handles the negativity of people around him as he becomes increasingly weaker from his illness of ALS.  We do not appreciate what we have until it is gone and I for one have become extrememly frustrated with people who complain about the slightest problem or issue.  That is my problem, I need to learn to deal with it, but people complain about everything from a paper jam to a traffic jam.  I am guilty too, when my health was perfect I thought my day was ruined if I was 5 minutes late for work or if I missed a deadline.  The truth is the world did not come to a sudden halt, time marched forward no one except for me fell to pieces because the copier did not work.   We are the only ones that can control our attitudes and take a second to appreciate what we have in life that is good.

Can you work?  Can you get out of bed and brush your teeth, can you feed yourself?  Can you sit up in bed and hug a loved one?  If so you are blessed and live your life like you are and stop complaining.  Who knows, they may never figure out what is wrong with me but I know one thing, my attitude about life has changed.  Life and health is fragile and precious, appreciate what you have and let go of the things that don't matter.

Last Wednesday I spent the day looking for a place to live, climbing many sets of stairs, schlepping through unit after unit.  I felt unusually short of breath and tired when I returned home.  I decided to take a nap.  As soon as I climbed into bed my lungs felt like they were filling with water and I could not catch my breath.   My mom had been staying with me to go on the housing search.  I asked her to call 911 between breaths.  I ended up in the hospital with congestive heart failure.  Further testing concluded that my kidneys had shut down causing a back up of fluid that my heart tried with all it's might to help eliminate but it ended up in my lungs.  The preliminary findings are LUPUS but next week I will see the kidney doctor to chart my course of action so that I can get myself back to normal.  I am left with damaged kidneys, a weakend heart muscle and high blood pressure.

If I had I gone in for my regular doctors appointment they probably would have caught it sooner.  I ignored the symptoms and landed myself in ICU.  Please don't do what I did!  By ignoring my health I put the most important thing in my life, my family and friends, through a lot of unnecessary anguish and I feel horrible about it.  PLEASE THINK ABOUT WHAT IT MOST IMPORTANT AND TAKE OF YOURSELF!

Thank you everyone for your prayers and thoughts for me and my family!  I am going to be just fine, I am in good spirits and I am blessed to have many friends and a loving family!  Thank you all and it's good to be back, there is no place like home!

There are so many questions in this kidnapping.  If a relative of yours pulled up and requested a shovel, a gas can and a flash light and they had ANYTHING tied up in their car what would you do?

Second part is why do police think they will still find her alive? 

Tragedy strikes again and again like a big fist in my gut, sucking the air out of my body every time I read about another child killed at the hands of their father and Mom is too afraid to stand up to this abusive bully.  This man killed his 4 month old daughter on Christmas morning because he wanted another male child.  Something tells me this is not the first time he has subjected his family to abuse.  It is so common for the Mother to be beaten into submission that she can not even protect her own children.  How does this happen?  When will it stop? 

When he goes to prison he will find out how it feels to be beaten.